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Joke of the Day

"I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed... How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Marriage counselling because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they're being an ass."

"Just watched Starwars The Force Awakend It felt kind of forced"

"What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors? A Julius Seizure."

"What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there."

"What does a kangaroo and a banana have in common? They both can't ride a bike."

"A duck walks up to a lemonade stand... and he says quack, quack."

"What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common? They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!"

"Have you ever had sex while camping.... It's fucking in-tents"

"What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!"