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Joke of the Day
"When the smoke detector goes off, it's time to flip the grilled cheese sandwich."
Next Joke
"whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there."
"Why even ask how my weekend was if you're just going to interrupt me halfway through to say, ""Yeah, I saw your Facebook post."""
"I just got a part in a movie about dog walking I'm playing the lead"
"If I were a ghost, I'd spell ""antidisestablishmentarianism"" on the Ouija board just to waste those idiots' time."
"How does Robin Williams go thrift shopping? Good Will Hunting"
"My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL"
"CNN: President Obama Rescues a Child From a Burning Home FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working Firefighters"
"What makes a black joke funny? A grape punch line"
"Well well well, if it isn't the guy who sprayed air freshener into my restroom stall..."