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Joke of the Day
"I just got a part in a movie about dog walking I'm playing the lead"
Next Joke
"I feel like I've had this mustard before...... it must be Dijon Vu"
"In a Mediterranean restaurant...(xpost /r/puns) What did the sick chef say to the bus boy? ""Oh man, I feelafal"""
"What stops your hair from falling? The floor"
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeleine McCann"
"[signing birth certificate] wife: you put Owen, right? me: yup nurse: Now we'll just need a footprint from little [reading] ""Owned"""
"I name photos of me stroking animals in files called ""Fireworks and big dogs.jpg"" so my cats won't find them on my computer."
"Whenever I'm bored, I call one of my parents and ask them to describe how the internet works."
"Yo mama's so ugly Even her dildo went limp."
"Boss rushes frantically into manager's office... ""Hey, have you been screwing my assistant?"" ""No!"" ""Great! Then YOU fire her."""