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Joke of the Day

"i bet you spend all your money pizza and hookers. Pssh Dad, i dont spend money on pizza thats ridiculous."

"I got received an e-mail from my Buddhist friend... ...it was free from attachments."

"How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, ""How many women have you slept with?"" I proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""

"Q: You can sleep on it, brush your teeth with it and sit on it, what is it? A: A bed, a tooth brush, and a chair."

"They asked what was my dream position Turns out, ""doggie style"" is not the correct answer."

"There once was a lady from Madrass... There once was a lady from Madrass Who had a magnificent ass Not pretty and pink as you may think But had long ears and ate grass. Credit: Playboy, circa 1970s"

"At trial, a Volkswagen engineer is called to the stand to explain why they participated in the 'clean diesel' debacle. He claims he is not guilty. He said he was just following...odors."

"How many call girls does it take to chAnge a lightbulb. None, because when they're dead their just called hookers."

"I didn't see you at the camouflage competition private. ""THANK YOU, SIR"""

"My wife and I just renewed our vows of celibacy."