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Joke of the Day

"Oriental Rugs and Tubs... could be a furniture store or a dyslexic whorehouse."

"[park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread"

"If you fall outta your car in your driveway, it's your own asphalt."

"A woman found out her husband was cheating on her. ""Herman, I can't believe you did this. Why?"" ""Well, my name **is** Herman, not Yourman."""

"Part of the Reddit fence got ripped out of the ground by a tornado. We've been having to do a lot of re-posting."

"Its a wonder how stadiums get so hot When they're filled with fans!"

"I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it, and survived Why don't we just build the whole plane out of that kid?"

"Now if they could just make PokemonStop.. I could sit and actually enjoy this game! In playin pokemon Yellow right now ; p"

"What did the pebble say to the rock? I wish I was a little boulder!"

"Why don't mexicans have checking accounts? It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line."