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Joke of the Day

"If you fall outta your car in your driveway, it's your own asphalt."

"Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake."

"How many debutants can you fit in ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria? [OC] Like, a cotillion of 'em."

"If you are what you eat Then that explains why I'm such an asshole"

"What's the Difference between a cactus, and a BMW? A cactus has the prick on the outside."

"My friend recently passed away after eating some poisonous mushrooms It's pretty sad, he was a really fungi!"

"What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..? I herd."

"Why Harriet Tubman shouldn't replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill The new $20 bill will only be worth $12"

"ME: What tattoo should I get? TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please."

"I invented a new word: *Zygorepostalgia* It's the feeling you get when you see the same joke reposted more than once in the same day and realize it wasn't funny the first time either."