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Joke of the Day

"I came out of the closet today... And I'm currently enjoying the wonderful world of Narnia!"

"poor guy. The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries... Until I unpacked them all & said, ""That's how I want you to do it."""

"How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!"

"Why do girls suck at playing hockey as goalie? Because there are 3 periods and only 2 pads"

"on earth: a magiciam puts his hand in his hat in the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. it is time. the rabit council must chose a sacrifice"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile yesterday... ...so I said, ""That's a big word for a seven-year-old"""

"The first 2 slices of pizza cure depression and the last 14 bring it right back."

"Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation? Even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it."

"theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him"

"I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says ""May contain almonds."" What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?"