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Joke of the Day
"[taking a picture] Me: ""Make love to the camera!"" Grandma: ""Don't make this weird, dear."""
Next Joke
"[wedding] Priest: repeat after me Groom: after me P: ... [to bride] is he serious Bride: no his name is gary"
"How many SJW's does it take to change a 90w lightbulb? Did you just assume my wattage??? FLICKERED"
"How stupid of the elevator manufacturers they have buttons for the floor I am already on *I will show myself out now"
"Politicians should be limited to two terms... One in office and one in prison. [Credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2jxula/alabama_state_house_speaker_indicted_on/clg2hjl)"
"Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? the wheelchair"
"[drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?"
"Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner? The passengers and crew were marooned."
"Patron: Hey there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?"
"I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!"