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Joke of the Day

"The four food groups: Fast Frozen Instant and Chocolate."

"Have you heard that China's panda project is disastrously failing? All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia. It's causing pandaneumonium."

"Saw a guy steal a car using a hanger so I did what any normal person would do, walked up to him & asked ""You that guy from Grand Theft Auto?"

"I'm impressed with my mom's commitment to saying the word 'the' before every noun. Example: the Walgreens, the AIDS, the Fox News, the Adele"

"What do cannibals on a budget eat? Ramen. (Sound it out.)"

"I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate."

"Grandma, if you're looking down on me right now - close your eyes for a few minutes."

"What do Hitler and Terry Fox have in common? Neither can finish a race."

"I just saved a bunch of money by shopping online with other people's credit card numbers."

"What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player? One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick."