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Joke of the Day

"I got caled into jury duty today... That's going to result in a well hung jury."

"Boss: This is the 3rd time I've seen you slacking off today. Do you know what that means? Me: You want me to move the couch into my office?"

"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."

"Have you read the book about the guy who can only ejaculate a virus? It's a classic coming-a-phage story."

"My brakes failed the other day And I got a crash course on Newton's first law"

"if you eat four pieces of pizza without separating them, it counts as just one. #dieting #fitness."

"- I like to travel in first - But is expensive, is not? - Yes, I have already broken three cars!! European joke..."

"Good morning beautiful breasts of my neighbor. How did you get inside these binoculars?"

"what do I get Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger."

"Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons? Because they keep stepping on the string."