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Joke of the Day

"Boss: This is the 3rd time I've seen you slacking off today. Do you know what that means? Me: You want me to move the couch into my office?"

"Christmas is over, all of the guests have gone home. NO PANTS."

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10? Because 7.. 8.. 9"

"I hate it when homeless people shake their Change cups at me..... I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it."

"Why do squirrels swim on their back? to keep their nuts dry."

"""Stupid kid fell in the well again."" -if Lassie had been a cat"

"Someone asked me when the narwhal bacons... ...my response was: ""huh?"""

"HOW DO WELSH PEOPLE EAT CHEESE? CAERPHILLY"

"Do insurance companies consider property damages caused by ISIS... an act of god?"