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Joke of the Day

"if you eat four pieces of pizza without separating them, it counts as just one. #dieting #fitness."

"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."

"Officer: We're building the Death Star as fast as we can. Vader: I have new ways to motivate you. *implements margarita Tuesdays*"

"Transvestite joke What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind doing a 5k but my running group wants to do a 10k and i really don't like them :-D"

"I'm studying Feminism at my university It basically covers different periods in history."

"Negative pregnancy tests, because everyone loves good news on a stick"

"My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism So they repossessed her."

"A manual RT is like saying ""Hey check out this guy, but keep looking at my face. Please...don't ever stop looking at my face..."""

"Me: Can I buy that chandelier? Store guy: Of course. Are you putting it up yourself? Me: No, I'm hanging it from the ceiling."