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Joke of the Day

"what do I get Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger."

"Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face."

"I for one welcome our new insect overlords Resistance is futile."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokin-off!"

"[Lady is being robbed] ""Help, Social Media Man!"" [Social Media Man swoops in & creates a facebook page called Mugging Is Bad]"

"I wanted to be a feminist for Halloween... ...but a fat suit is out of my budget."

"What did one egg cell say to the other? I'm not ovary fond of you"

"What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray."

"You ever get off the toilet and think... Man, was I full of shit!"

"Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol."