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Joke of the Day
"Him: Whatcha thinkin about? Me: How ferrets are like if a cat and a scarf had a baby."
Next Joke
"A girl from the office is trying to get me fired for sexual harassment because I've been giving her ""inappropriate massages during work"" I said, Good luck sweetheart. I don't even work here."
"They say two heads are better than one But sometimes I just don't need that much lettuce."
"Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12."
"What is amnesia? Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings"
"I saw a sign that said check your speed. Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket."
"If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!"
"What do you call an asshole who can see the future? A 4chan teller"
"Me: That the new iPhone? Him: Yup! The 5S! Me: What's the difference? Him: The C stands for ""Cheap"" Me: What about the S? Him: ""'Spensive"""
"If H20 is on the inside of fire hydrants, what is on the outside? K9P."