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Joke of the Day

"If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!"

"In capitalist America... bank robs you!"

"The best way to prevent the next generation from stealing your lunch... Is to not show them where your lunch is. Because you forgot where you left your lunch."

"Why did the man call his horse Fleabag? Because he was often scratched!"

"""As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are "" I haven't started either"""

"Today's ebonic word is: ""OMELETTE"" Let us use it in a sentence. I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

"What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge? ""No, Woman, no pie."""

"gmail@chucknorris.com"

"They should fill the airbags with confetti to make car accidents more fun. *crashes vehicle* ""OMG, my legs! Hey, a party!"" *dies smiling*"

"Acquaintances: ""So what have you been up to?"" What I hear: ""Please explain yourself, we're trying to figure you out."""