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Joke of the Day
"Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12."
Next Joke
"Triscuits are a good snack if you've already eaten all the other snacks in your house and the boxes they came in and your own hands"
"How does Robin Williams go thrift shopping? Good Will Hunting"
"What footwear does Hilary Clinton wear to the beach? Flip flops or scandals!"
"Doctor I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!"
"Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then"
"How do you prepare for a party in space? You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist"
"There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango"
"Lit a few candles after my power went out last night. My cat has been scared shitless ever since. Ever since I put the pussy on the chain wax"
"Behavioral Health What do you call an epileptic with a personality disorder? A myclonic jerk."