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Joke of the Day

"Hubs: There's nothing on TV *winks* Me: Remember last time? *both look at 2yo* Hubs: There's over 900 channels, we'll find something"

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble"

"What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. What else smells like blue paint? Solvent abuse rehab"

"What is an adulterers favorite snack? Cheetos."

"I sneezed and my bra unsnapped. I think this cold is trying to seduce me."

"A nurse takes a rectal thermometer from her jacket pocket ""Great. Some arsehole's got my pen"""

"a girl to her mother: Mom! I was stopped at a red light and got hit by a car! --oh no! who rear-ended you? lots of guys, mom! But can we go back to talking about my accident please?"

"I went shopping yesterday and bought myself a ring binder. I haven't been able to do a shit since..."

"John: ""My memory is bad..."" George: ""How bad is it?"" John: ""How bad is what?"""

"If you wanted to be the red ranger as a kid you're probably an asshole nowadays."