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Joke of the Day

"Girlfriend: Have you ever been with a fat chick? Me: Nope, you're the first one. Gf: What? Me: What?"

"Do you know the between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo on my chest"

"Going to work. I got to work this morning to find a lump of Plasticine on my desk. I didn't know what to make of it."

"I'm getting tired of politicians using blanket statements It's putting me to sleep"

"What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop? A joggernaut."

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool."

"I wouldn't say my wife was fat....... .....but she wore a white dress to the cinema last night and they showed the film on her back!"

"I was having dinner .. .. .. with Garry Kasporov and on the table was a checkered tablecloth. It took him 2 hours to pass me the salt."

"damn girl, you got a butt that WON'T QUIT *butt pulls out a knife* wait, no- *butt stabs me* no, stop- *butt doesn't stop* ...et tu, bootay"

"What critically acclaimed movie did Zeus star in? The Godfather"