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Joke of the Day

"I wouldn't say my wife was fat....... .....but she wore a white dress to the cinema last night and they showed the film on her back!"

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't really know Y"

"The jerk store called. Instead of texting. Typical"

"How did the shrimp eat all the fish food? shellfishly"

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday."

"A guy with a wooden eyeball is self conscious... ...so he asks the homeliest girl at the ball if she would like to dance. She looks him straight in the face and says ""would I?!"""

"My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... ""You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."""

"What do you a white convict stuck between two black convicts? An Oreo crookie"

"I told my wife my secret to losing 50 pounds in 1 minute. I buy everyone a round at the pub."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? ....ground beef... tehe.."