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Joke of the Day

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool."

"What do you call a fake noodle?... An Impasta!"

"My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now."

"My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles."

"[opens lunchbox] YOGURT?!? o no... that means... [my dad is at the office surounded by men and women in suits asking if they can hav a dunkaroo]"

"My friend is majoring in Gender Studies. He's been a broad for the past semester."

"How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail? They exchange cell numbers."

"I can't believe how popular these gluten-free items are getting!!! They're selling like hot cakes!"

"A better name for everything bagels would be '3-5 things bagels'"

"I broke up with my girlfriend while we were jogging. I guess we had a good run."