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Joke of the Day

"How come I need a complex, indecipherable password to get on Twitter but only a 4-digit number to remove all my money from an ATM?"

"Why was 9 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8."

"You should be proud of who you are! Unless you're a straight white male."

"Roses are red... This one is screwed up, you've been warned. /our flag is too /raise your hand to the sky /and gas all the jews"

"Game of Thrones: Now with 100 percent more zombies! The Walking Dead should fire back by adding kingdoms."

"What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News? ""We're going to build a wall"""

"Sext I just received from my wife- ""Wake up! You're snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed."""

"please pray for my sons Thursten and Gorse who have just glued themselves to a curtain,"

"I don't always take the derivative of x^2.... But when I do, it's dos equis."

"Mullets: Business in the front. Party-at-a-mobile-home-til-5am-drinking-Pabst-then-go-home-&-get-arrested-for-domestic-violence in the back"