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Joke of the Day

"A dad asks 4-year-old son: ""How'd you sleep last night?"" Son says: ""umm... With my eyes closed?"" Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl."

"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway my dad just caught me browsing r/jokes"

"My friend claims he has a degree in blacksmithing... ... But everything he makes is forged."

"People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I'm allowed to raise my cat however I want."

"How do dubstep DJs masturbate? They wub one out"

"Where do terrorists store their money? In the West Bank"

"Congratulations on your gold medal in the conclusion jump."

"My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back."

"i finally checked out chatroulette. i saw three fornicators, two masturbaters, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadrabador"