134552

Joke of the Day

"How many Coldplay members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first."

"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan."

"I think salads help you lose weight because they're gross and you end up not eating them"

"Cup of Tea According to Tetley, the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap her arse and say ""two sugars fatty""."

"TIL in 1972, the Russians attacked their own submarine off the coast of Guatemala Woops, wrong sub."

"Psychic porn stars always see it coming."

"Read a magazine at the doctor's office so I'm all caught up on Clinton running for president. I don't think Bush can beat him."

"A Man was Fishing in the Jungle After a while another angler came to join him. ""Have you had any bites?"" asked the second man. ""Yes, lots,"" replied the first one, ""but they were all mosquitoes."""

"A man visits his psychiatrist wearing only cellophane wrapped around his body The psychiatrist says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""

"What do women and penny stocks have in common? If you hold on to them too long instead of pumping and dumping them, you'll lose all your shit."