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Joke of the Day

"You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant."

"I wish my lawn was emo So it would cut itself"

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors."

"*wears an ""Only God Can Judge Me"" t-shirt to court*"

"From what I hear about time spent with abortion doctor's they're really not all that bad Many patients have claimed it's really brought the kid out in them."

"What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby? I didn't kill the baby for not shutting the fuck up."

"I KNOW WHO TWEETED THAT! -Me when reading ecards on Facebook"

"Gynecologist defined The only person who looks for problems in a place where everybody else gets pleasure."

"My sister had a threesome with two huge pornstars. Now she's not sure if she had a good time or not. Truth is, she's a little torn."

"LPT: If your girl ever asks you which of her friends you want to have a three-way with, DO NOT GIVE HER TWO NAMES!"