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Joke of the Day

"*wears an ""Only God Can Judge Me"" t-shirt to court*"

"Whenever I see a teenager, I can't help thinking"" holy shit"" was I really THAT fucking stupid once?"

"A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says:, Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

"""WE WANT EQUAL RIGHTS! WE WANT EQUAL RIGHTS! ... HEY! YOU CAN'T HIT ME. I'M A GIRL!"""

"Guys, did you know that as long as you say ""great hit"" or ""great catch"" you can touch another straight guy's butt an it's not even weird?"

"Why Did it Take so Long to Legalize Gay Marriage? Because their priorities weren't straight."

"I'm going on a vodka diet. Apparently you can lose 3 days in one week..."

"People belittle the internet ""talking about a dress"" as if we're busy solving problems otherwise."

"I may have to divorce my wife... My son broke both his arms today."

"Why did a Stripper run for mayor? Because she did great on the pole"