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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected."

"""fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u"" - a goldfish :("

"My girlfriend asked me what I feel about being with her. I told her what I truly feel. Numbness radiating down my left arm."

"What do you call an Arab who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist motherfucker."

"What do you call the hair between your grandma's tits? Her pussy."

"Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!"

"I didn't wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed, now I'm worried about my vagina."

"Have you ever been to an Istanbul nightclub? I hear they're poppin' and a good place to get wasted!"

"You know how moray eels can't let go when they bite, and both sets of jaws must be pried off even after they're dead? Don't touch my fries."

"in 1st grade a kid teased me by saying the pink power ranger was my girlfriend, which, man, that would have been quite a pull for a 6-yr-old"