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Joke of the Day

"SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive."

"Lots of nouns have particular GROUP names. A MOB of kangaroos, a HERD of cattle, a TEAM of footballers. What is the name for a group of Bankers? A WUNCH."

"I'm so lazy, If autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I don't even bother sending the text."

"I've said it before. Wednesday. Where you're too far out to see weekend in any direction."

"Macbeth.docx That's a play on word"

"I don't have enough confidence in plumbing to get a drink of water from the faucet while the toilet is flushing."

"Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling"

"Really not liking this new Reddit app update. I'm going to be sharing it all day."

"My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it."

"What's the difference between your child and your husband? At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit"