190715

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your child and your husband? At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit"

Next Joke
 
"In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks."
"How come you catch more flies with honey... ... but you don't catch more honies with fly?"
"My therapist says I should stop breaking into his house to tell him all my problems ... and also that he's not a therapist ."
"Ellen pao Punchline is in the title whoops"
"Today's life lesson: ""I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."""
"why is it hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac? because they always take things literally!"
"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and i ate them because im a velociraptor disguised as a milkshake vendor lol owned"
"A blonde a brunette and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... This content has been censored by Ellen Pao because it was harassing her personal interests"
"How does a train eat? It goes chew chew."