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Joke of the Day

"I've said it before. Wednesday. Where you're too far out to see weekend in any direction."

"What problem afflicts 40% of all pedophiles? Immature ejaculation"

"In a primary school... The teacher asks students to draw female reproductive system. A girl in the class puts her head down out of shyness. A boy looks at her and exclaims ""Ma'am she's copying!""."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I don't recommend it, it's quite time consuming."

"Dear Life, I have a complete grasp on the fact that you are not fair... so please quit teaching me that lesson."

"How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap."

"Bear tip: If a bear is mauling you to death, challenge it to a maths quiz instead (mauling people to death is against the rules in quizzes)"

"A guy walks into a bar holding a pair of jumper cables He says, ""Hey bartender, can I get a drink over here?"" The bartender says, ""Alright, but don't go trying to start anything in here"""

"Bf and I are on 2 completely different emotional planes right now. Work faster, whiskey."

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop this shit."