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Joke of the Day

"Jesus wasn't a very good carpenter... I mean... He couldn't remove three nails to save his life."

"My exercise is primarily jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck."

"According to movie trailers, 98% of white kids are possessed by the devil."

"I went for my physical yesterday. Nurse came in the room and she said ""I'm going to have to ask you to stop masturbating"" I was like ""What? Why!?"" She said ""because I'm trying to do your physical!"""

"Why did the bee started talking poetry ? He was waxing lyrical !"

"If a stranger offers you a piece of candy...take two."

"[on 1st date] Him: So why is someone as pretty as you single? Me: Single? Who's single? [gets right up in his face] We marry at dawn."

"Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? (First) He kept getting nailed to the boards."

"If you shout ""I am a STRONG BLACK woman"" in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room."

"When I die I want my group project members to lower me into my grave So they can let me down one last time."