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Joke of the Day

"I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist."

"HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell"

"I just hit a duck with my car. Wasn't even in it. Incredible strength."

"the real reason you shouldn't flush condoms is the fish get caught in them and it makes the fishermen laugh so hard they fall off the boat"

"I wish they'd just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell ""alright!""."

"What is Jesus' favorite band? Nine Inch Nails"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas Gloves. Only joking he's not opened his presents yet."

"What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument? Two-Baaas."

"Noble gases are safe from the Fine Brothers. They never react."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blow job from a guy. Feels good till you look down and realize you're gay (Credit to Adam Corolla)"