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Joke of the Day

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blow job from a guy. Feels good till you look down and realize you're gay (Credit to Adam Corolla)"

"Like this if you can't think of a clever status either..."

"I once threw an abstinence party... And no one came. Edit: grammar."

"If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard how many hours would it take three pigs? None because the six pigs have already eaten them all."

"Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication."

"They say you can get to a man's heart through his stomach... Unless he's a vegetarian. Then you can get there through his vagina."

"Helium Some helium walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve noble gasses here."" The helium doesn't react."

"Anytime I see someone with dreadlocks i yell CONGRATS ON HAVING A DIRTY HEAD FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME"

"Whats the best part of fuckin a pregnant woman? you get a handjob at the same time"

"Threesome? No thank you. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at once, I would go to dinner with my parents."