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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand the hate for man buns I think they're top knots."

"So a fisherman is having an argument with a stain on his shirt.. And the stain says ""I'm fish jizz, thank you."" And the fisherman replies ""No, you're whale-cum"""

"[Blazing hot day] Don't forget to take a jacket, it might get cold. ~ My mom."

"I was an army sniper, until I was discharged. It must have been my accuracy. It was very hit and miss."

"Why did the blind jew got killed? because he could nazi"

"Top of my Med School Class: I don't just play God, I win. *definitely not remotely true*"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that got promoted? He was outstanding in his field..."

"Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions? Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out."

"Valve should be in charge of the UN... It's the only sure-fire way to prevent World War 3."

"What did one ghost say to another ghost? ""Do you believe in people?"""