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Joke of the Day

"I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type."

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"90s Kids won't get this............ Social Security Benefits."
"There are 3 types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't."
"What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open? Ten-ish"
"Most unrealistic scene in Pacific Rim? Hundreds take shelter in a bunker during a monster attack. Not one person is tweeting."
"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."
"If I ever die, I'm going to be so mad about all the times I ate kale."
"I was just at the beach and heard someone yell ""Help! Shark!"" I am pretty sure that shark wasn't going to help him..."
"At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, ""Make it 52"""
"Bitches be misusing helping verbs."