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Joke of the Day

"There are 3 types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"Sorry I threw rice at the coffin. I don't get invited to much."

"I'm having car trouble. I can't afford to put gas in it."

"What do you call a possessed chicken? Poultrygeist."

"Dad, I can't drink from this mug... - ...it has no opening! - You are right,son. And besides this, it has no bottom!"

"7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed."

"Horses are vegans, too, yet you don't hear them yapping on and on about it do you?"

"I looked up in the sky and a bird pooped in my eye I'm sure glad cows can't fly."

"ISSUE: is the road runner wile e coyote's son FOR: thhey, seem to respect each other, on some level AGAINST: one of them is a dog"

"My dad made this joke after finding out he needed surgery for potential rectal cancer. Well at least no one can call me a complete asshole anymore!"