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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a very nosy spice? Jalapeno Business You need to say this in a pretty thick Hispanic accent for it to work. I heard it from some classmates."

"Last night my girlfriend asked me ""Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?"" What I actually heard was ""Do you want a fight?"""

"You know what they say about poorly produced pornography... You never see it coming."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free."

"iPhones need a feature where an incoming call doesn't take up the whole screen so u can do other things while u ignore a phone call"

"My house is full of Valentines cards. I'm not a legend though Just a lazy postman"

"Why would an upright vacuum cleaner with no wheels make a better President than Hillary Clinton? Well, they both suck and have trouble moving forward, but at least the vacuum has a handle on it."

"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing in her backyard? Neither did she."

"God does exist If you're North Korean"

"Q: What's the difference between roast beef & pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef."