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Joke of the Day

"SCIENTIST: it's both man and machine ME: what's it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*"

"What do you call Nicki Minaj's buttcrack? Silicone Valley"

"What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ? A computer with a lot of bites !"

"A guy walks into a psychiatrists office... ...wearing nothing but saran wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts""."

"Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin? They're afraid of change."

"How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?"

"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass."

"Why are churches never broke? Because Jesus saves."

"What gets louder if you enter it from one end, but quieter if you enter it from the other? A howler monkey."

"My girlfriend and I always like to laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh with more intensity and greater strength."