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Joke of the Day

"NEED HELP I'm in a situation that could require me to pull out some good jokes when asked. I need to hear the best jokes on the internet. The dirtier the better. Thanks in advance"

Next Joke
 
"They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel 52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility"
"I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms."
"I've spent the past few months looking for my ex-boyfriends' killer but no one will do it."
"What did the Ghost say to the Bee? Boo Bee"
"I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis"
"What's the best way to make friends? Go up to a girl and say that you love her."
"So an Irish guy walks out of a bar (Pause for effect)"
"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."
"For easter I'm going to smuggle drugs into prison with my anus. I'm calling myself the keister bunny!"