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Joke of the Day

"I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms."

"I'm old enough to remember when a selfie was some lotion and a box of Kleenex."

"Three crows walk into a bar HL3 confirmed."

"I did a striptease for my wife but it didn't go well. I got my shirt stuck on my head, and by the time I got it off, she had left the room."

"I'm not taking the Democrat convention seriously until someone starts talking to a table."

"*sees a tweet i don't like from a person i follow voluntarily on a free website* I am entitled to compensation"

"I would complain about the siren of an ambulance even if I was in the back of it."

"Lazy thought by my girlfriend Her: ""Why is it Bees Knees, Why not Bees Nuts?"" (Deez nuts)"

"What comes out at night and goes Munch munch ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth."

"What do fat chicks do in the summer? Stink."