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Joke of the Day

"Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)"

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"Guide to making everyone hate you: Step 1) Turn your hat backwards"
"i wear my ninja turtles costume on all of my first dates just to weed out the weirdos."
"What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans? Being rescued by the Americans"
"Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days."
"Why are volcanoes mischievous? Because they erupt to no good."
"I like the way baseball players pick up each other's bats after they cross home plate. More sports courtesy, please."
"TIL that if you plug your amp into a 12"" instead of your 8"", you get fireworks. Whoops. Wrong sub."
"why doe s porn hub even have a share to google + button? I dont want any one to know i have a google +..."
"Just saw a French band perform Livin' On A Prayer. I think it was Bonjour-vi."