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Joke of the Day

"The dictator forced everyone to work in the butter industry. Some men just want to watch the world churn."

"What did the chemist say when his girlfriend cheated on him? Dy Ho"

"I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night... I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."

"R.I.P. Today a man died after jumping into a waste treatment facility. The coroner ruled it a sewercide."

"Having sex was like riding a bicycle for the first time... My dad was there holding me from the back."

"Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe... ... fucking near water"

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes."

"What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party? I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor."

"I married a beautiful woman - a smart one too. Hopefully they'll never meet."

"Hey, I have an idea. Instead of complaining about your auto-correct every day, how about going into your settings & turning it the fcuk off?"