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Joke of the Day

"What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party? I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor."

"Two prostitutes are talking about their clients... One of them says ""So yesterday I had this client who had a dick like my leg!"", the other replies ""Impossible - no man has a dick that's that dirty""."

"How do mermaids give birth? Via Sea-Section"

"""Ok, so you love kids and a clean house? Really, you don't drink but you like to drive?"" Me, interviewing the perfect sister wife"

"What is a support group for lesbian mathematicians called? Number Munchers!"

"Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga."

"Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it's Wednesday."

"Met a hot isis girl Jihad me at hello"

"No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates."

"Behind every successful man is a woman. This game of hide and seek has been going on for too long..."