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Joke of the Day

"This kid at my nephew's birthday party shit his pants and got to go home. I'm seriously considering this option."

"I'm not homophobic, I love my house!"

"Whats a cannibals favorite game? Swallow the leader."

"Why did the researchers stopped their research on embryos? Because the subject is still to immature."

"So I says to him I says, Rectum!? Damn near killed him!"

"Having sex in an elevator.. ..is wrong on so many levels"

"I've always been a dog person, but I have never had a close friend that was a cat person. I just find that cats taste too gamy."

"So a chick is talking with a puppy ""My mom is the nicest mom ever and keeps me warm"" the chick says. The puppy frowns and says, ""my mom's a bitch."""

"A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office."

"I would rather be a goat or a bag of teeth than a ""low information voter."""