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Joke of the Day

"Wife: I feel horrible; I look old, fat and completely unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment. Husband: Your eyesight and opinion is damn right."

"There are more skeletons wearing suits beneath the ground than there are living people."

"What do a hockey player and a hippie chick have in common? They both shower after 3 periods."

"Guy hears his grand kids are coming for the first time. He gets all the parts and gear, spent six hours child-proofing his home. They still got in."

"How do you circumcise a Trump supporter? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris."

"My head is so big... When a girl sits on my face, she has room for the remote and a snack."

"I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter. ."

"Cake day post: What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot"

"What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."