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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: people around the office think you're too controlling Me: what's that? Coworker: oh, sorry *raises hand*"

"Kisses make my day... But anal makes me hole weak."

"The best DVD feature is when the audio is so quiet during dialogue I have to crank the volume then in action scenes its so loud my pets die."

"Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week."

"Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: Kitty Perry"

"Auto correct can go straight to He'll"

"I saw a guy jogging naked outside of my house I asked him why you doing this he said because you came home early"

"I wanna work at a bank so I can get that employee discount on money"

"What electronic device leaves behind a lot of broken glass? A PC, seeing how they typically run on Windows!"

"How can you tell when someone does crossfit? Don't worry, they'll tell you."