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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the difference between a hog and a man? A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig."

"playboy: ""apparently they just read it for the articles"" [takes out all nude women] every man on earth: ""well this has back-fired massively"""

"I tried turning my AC off today but couldn't.... Turns out it's hard to stop a Trane."

"Sorry, cancer kids. Our prayers are going elsewhere. RT @KimKardashian: So scared I'm not gonna make my flight to Australia! Pray I make it!"

"I changed my major from being an actuary. I just couldn't handle the risk."

"Q: Did you hear about the marketplace where everything cost twelve and a half cents? A: It was a bit bazaar."

"""Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun."" - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you."

"What do they call brassieres in Germany? Holdzemfromfloppen"

"Mona Lisa's Mother If Mona Lisa's mother were Jewish, she would have said: ""Mona, bubbeleh, after all the money your father and I spent on your brace, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"""

"Keep yelling ""dance!"" and shooting at my feet, tough guy. I studied tap for 9 years and you're going to look like an idiot."