48481

Joke of the Day

"So I'm trying to get myself to be ambidextrous. I'm halfway there!"

"What do you call an ant sized villain? The *ant*agonist."

"Why are Asian students so smart? Because they keep trying to take Engrish classes but end up in Engineering."

"""There is a man!"" Sarah doesn't dare to walk into the restroom. Jane sees that and asks ""Why are you standing in front of the Gentlement Restroom?"". Sarah kept silent."

"Ned: What does your Dad sell ? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake."

"Why couldn't the blind man go skydiving? It would of scared the shit out of the dog."

"Sometimes I wonder if my wife ever heard me call her a dumb bitch. I think about it every day since she died from cancer. I never got to say it to her face."

"Why didn't Edward leave Russia? Cause he was snowden."

"The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out."

"What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off."