127781

Joke of the Day

"The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out."

"My friend sent me a picture of her baby and I don't have a baby so I just sent her back a picture of a steak I cooked once."

"Brown and sticky Whats Brown and sticky? A Stick"

"Yesterday I bought an expensive but poorly made tie... I think my ascot ripped off!"

"Why girls want to be mermaids 1. No pants 2. No periods 3. Perfect hair 4. You get to lure men to their deaths 5. Free clam bra"

"What do Pedophiles hand out after dinner? Under eights"

"I didn't feel right so I went to the doctor. He only takes one look at me and says, ""Well son, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" I asked. ""So I can examine you."""

"A man entered a pun contest and submitted 10 puns, hoping at least one would win... No pun in ten did."

"I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined"

"I have a friend named Jimmy Glasscock You can see it coming."