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Joke of the Day

"It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band."

"Why didn't the buddhist accept the Nitrous Oxide for his root canal? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication."

"The problem w marriage is communication. When I said I hoped he'd go down in a plane I meant more crash & burn, less on the flight attendant"

"Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride."

"I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"I don't get scatological humor. That shit isn't funny to me."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burns ! Burns who ? Burns me up !"

"What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay"

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... ground up and in the freezer."

"What do you call a Moroccan candy distributor? Fez dispenser."