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Joke of the Day
"A faster than light neutrino! Knock Knock! Who's there? New. New who?"
Next Joke
"""I need a car. What do you have?"" ""Well, we have a Subaru Outback"" ""But what kind of Subaru?"" ""Outback"" ""I don't CARE where you keep it..."""
"They're creepy and they're kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky The Twitter Family *click click*"
"A man walks into a bar... OUCH!!!!"
"One time John Waters spilled water on me and my mom said ""thank god his name isn't John Barbecue Sauce!"""
"How my dad taught me how to button my suit coats. He said *""Think of it like a woman; sometimes the top, always the middle, but never the bottom.""*"
"I tried uploading my sex tape to PornHub. They told me to try Vine."
"Why did the guy with a 7-days-a-week sexual job look forward to the weekend? Because his favorite part of sexual intercourse is the BEGINNING and END!"
"So many people try to be hip To me it is kind of a waist"
"I told my doctor I abused drugs last night. Doctor:how? me: I punched my bottle of vicodin"